I can not believe time is winding down.  But this past weekend, while the last, was one of the best.

Caroline, a fellow Saint Mary’s girl, invited Cailin, Annie, and I to her house in Co. Longford for the weekend.  We left Friday afternoon for what would be a relaxing and fun time.  After about an hour train ride, we arrived in Longford and then hopped in a taxi for a short ride into the country to her cottage.  It was already dark, so we couldn’t see much of the scenery, but seeing the house that evening was enough!  It is so quaint and cute with only three rooms and a huge, old, original fireplace.  I made the decision to count this weekend as the bed and breakfast experience I’d been wanting to have in Ireland.  We made a dinner of soup, PB&J, and wine, and then assumed our positions for a relaxing evening of company and wine around the fire.  We didn’t move for hours and that was okay with me!  We finally managed to move into warm heated beds, and I fell soundly asleep excited not to wake up to an alarm in the morning.

Saturday, after sleeping in, we were picked up at the house by one of Caroline’s cousins to have supper at their house.  Her relatives made us a delicious warm Irish meal of a roast, vegetables, and potatoes.  Spud after spud was placed on my plate, but I wasn’t going to complain!  We had dessert and tea, and then it was off back to the house for a walk.  Caroline showed us the other houses in her family that her mom has been working on, and they are just amazing!  Seeing them really makes me want a house in Ireland one day to run away to and relax!  The house had a bathtub, so I jumped at the opportunity to take my first bath in FOREVER!  What a treat!  We warmed up by the fire, working on some journals for class, and then made a warm dinner of soup and sandwiches.  We got ready for a night out in Roscommon with one of Caroline’s cousins, and we were soon on our way to the pub.  After a few drinks there, we made our way to the disco - which was so much fun!  It was nice to go out some place different the the routine.  And I could not have been more happy to climb into the heated bed again that night!

After sleeping in again Sunday morning, we took our time putting the house back together and packing up.  Then it was of to her cousin’s again for another great and filling supper.  We had dessert and tea again as the hospitality was simply wonderful!  Unfortunately, the relaxation couldn’t last forever, and it was back to Maynooth.  That night Annie and I worked on papers a bit, and I skyped the fam.  

I was so relaxed and carefree over the weekend that I did not have a single panic attack.  But wouldn’t you know it, the first night back I have one.  No fun.  I don’t even know what triggers them.  But thankfully, Annie came over to help calm me down and try to keep me busy by telling me to make eggs and tea which actually really helped.  I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle them much longer…

So relaxed!

The cottage!

Just a castle in the backyard, nbd.

Me in the country!

I meant to put this before my last post, but oh well… While tumblr was down, I had a bit of withdrawal. These next posts will be some of what I found as a result. Enjoy!

This past weekend was GREAT!  I was literally seizing the day (after some sleeping in of course… haha)

Friday, after a lazy hang out day with Annie and Cailin, we decided to take advantage of free admission for girls into Mantra.  And what a great choice because we also got a HUGE free drink.  It wasn’t very crowded that night, so us Saint Mary’s girls that went out owned the dance floor!  Well, at least as long as my food could handle it haha it had been stepped on badly the night before.  Cailin and Annie were fantastic nurses in bringing me back to strength! Haha  What a night!

Saturday, I slept in pretty late, but was quickly off and running after plans were made to go into Dublin to see Harry Potter.  This turned out not to be the case, but in the end I was okay with that making the best of the day!  Me, Quinny, Molly, Kara, Greg, and Ben went shopping in Dundrum (the largest mall in Ireland!) and it had everything!  It was fun to explore!  Then we met up with some of Greg’s old friends for some ice skating.  The rink wasn’t what I expected or well taken care of, but I’ve been dying to go ice skating since Galway so I laced up some skates right away!  After getting my legs back quickly, I enjoyed helping teach Ben how to skate and teaching Quinny how to skate backwards.  After toying with the idea of going to a late showing of HP, we decided on just getting a pint then heading to the train to be sure to make the last one.  After getting back and hanging out with everyone, I decided that even though we didn’t do what I thought we were doing, it was still a good day, and I’d try to see HP again the next day.

Sunday, yesterday, was the most carpe diem day of all!  I woke up and looked up tattoo studios in Dublin because that was another idea for the day, but after not hearing about Dublin or HP plans, Cailin, Annie, and I decided to go to the Bagel Factory (my love!) and then we’d be real people and do work.  However, this ended up not being the case!  While we were there, after texting others, it was decided that we would go into Dublin, get my tattoo, and then see Harry Potter!  In the hour before the train though, everyone had backed out but me and Quinny, but since we both really wanted to see HP and I really wanted my tattoo, we still went!  We weren’t going to worry about what others were doing!  After running to catch the train, we made it in the city and headed straight to the tattoo studio.  We got there 10 minutes before it closed, but the artist was still willing to get me in that day - I couldn’t believe it was happening!  I was so excited and anxious waiting for them to set up, but soon enough I was on the table with a needle writing on my foot!  Is iomaí cor sa tsaol.  I didn’t actually think my tattoo would happen that day, but it did!  And it put me in the best mood!  It didn’t even hurt too much (well not until it got to my ankle… haha).  After all my excitement, Quinny and I fueled up with some Chinese dinner, and then it was his turn to get excited!  We made it to the last show of HP, and we were FINALLY able to see after saying we would for soooo long.  It was great!  I didn’t want it to end!  Now, we have to wait for the second part!  In our seizing of the day, Quinny and I failed to realize that the trains and buses end earlier on Sundays, but we sucked it up and got a taxi without a care in the world!  After a quick showing of my tattoo to the girls, it was time for a movie night and then some well deserves z’s.

Today, I truly seized those z’s by sleeping in til 1:30 pm!  It was great!  After writing a few postcards, I went to class for the first time in a couple weeks, and worked on my sociology paper a bit.  After running errands and making dinner with the girls, it was decided we would take advantage of our last Mantra Monday!  So we went out, danced, got Supermacs, and had a bit of girl talk!  Such good times!

I am truly planning on taking advantage of every last moment I have here.  Which is why I’m still up at almost 5 am.  I think I’m going to have to stop sleeping in, so I have more time! Haha

In the days since Paris, I’ve been appreciating my time here - although I wish I could have more.  I love my life here.  The snow has made it even more homey!  Going home is becoming everyday conversation that I try to ignore.  I’ve been having anxiety attacks.  I’m not totally sure why- I’m assuming it has a lot to do with leaving, but I think it has more to do with going home, along with other issues like regarding money, friends, family…

Thanksgiving was eye opening day.  I spent the day writing a paper, which felt so off.  I got a lot accomplished, but I hated that it didn’t feel like Thanksgiving.  No parade, no cleaning or cooking,  and no football.  But at the same time, I just kept telling myself “I’m in Ireland, who cares if its Thanksgiving?!”  In talking to my family multiple times that day, I realized I did miss them, I just wish they could be here with me.  Multiple Saint Mary’s girls had family in that week, which made me wish I that I had family visit me.  It has been a little hard at times when I’d meet other parents or hear them talking about family and friends visiting.  In talking to my parents, I also greatly admitted and realized how much I don’t want to leave.  I’d been trying to change my flight, but apparently that is not an option.  

Things have been a little off with some friends (one or two in particular), and things have been feeling different.  I just want to make the most of my time here with people.  Annie, Cailin, and I have been doing a pretty good job a it, only spending like three days apart total in the last two weeks.  We’ve been doing things and going places.  For example, the day after Thanksgiving, Annie and I went to Galway for the day - just because we could.  It was a blast.  There was a super cute Christmas market, and we had an adventure seeing the sights.  Going to Galway made me want to plan one more trip, which has been causing some stress.  Everyone is getting short on money so not everyone can do the same things.  One last thing on my Ireland to-do list is to stay in a bed and breakfast.  After doing research, I would love to go to Cobh, a small sea side town, even for just one night.  But, getting someone to go with and making sure I have enough money has been a little rough.  I’d go by myself if had just a bit more money…  Its so hard to see time winding down and still wanting to do so much.

I’ve also had the realization that I haven’t been the best at staying in touch with friends back home.  Even my best friend.  I haven’t talked to my family since our emotional Thanksgiving converstations, and I haven’t talked to Lydia in two weeks.  I’ve just been immersing myself in my life and the people here, too scared to talk to others because I know what topics will come up.  I want to talk, but I can’t.

I’ve finally gotten my act together in some ways, working on final papers and such.  I’m just about done with my second out of three - so soon I’ll have one to go.  Some students have gotten grades back for some classes, but I haven’t which is stressing me out.  I want to know if I’ve been on the right track at all before I turn more work in.  I need to keep my grades decent, otherwise I’m screwed, and who know what I’ll be doing for school in the future then.  The thought of going back to Saint Mary’s brings a lot of anxiety for multiple reasons.

I think all of this had contributed to why I’ve been having panic attacks all of a sudden.  Multiple girls on the trip have had anxiety issues at various time and for various reasons.  I’m not sure why I’m just having this anxiety now, but it is making these last weeks even more stressful.  I wish I knew exactly why I’m panicking, so I could work toward feeling better - whether its leaving, money, academics.

Luckily, I have a met good people here giving me great support because we are all going through similar issues.  I think I will always remember the night Cailin and I both and panic attacks and tried supporting and comforting each other from our separate rooms by keeping in constant contact and giving updates.  

I hope the anxiety ends or I find better ways to cope (as opposed to ignoring it until I crack and dealing with it alone in my room).  I want to make the most of these last weeks with nothing to worry about - not even money or school.

My weekend in Paris was a time I will never forget!  It was so surreal, I still can’t believe it all happened!  Thank goodness I have pictures to prove it!

Wednesday night, the 18th, the night before we left after we all packed, Annie and Cailin came over for Disney movies and pizza - our fourth meal since we would be staying up all nice with our cab picking us up at 3:30 AM for our 6:30 AM flight!  We watched Peter Pan which was a perfect way to prepare for a trip to Disneyland - we didn’t want to grow up! Ha ha.  Quinny and Meghan Flynn, our other travelers, met up with us a little later, and we were all sure to be on the same page!  After a long night, the cab finally came, and we were on our way to the airport!

Most of us dozed on the way there.  After checking in, we hung out for a bit since we were early.  I jumped at the opportunity for Starbucks as soon as I saw it, and I got my first gingerbread latte of the holiday season.  Gosh, how I miss Starbucks.  Security was a bit of a hassle.  I did forget some of the regulations, so they ended up taking my large bottle of hair stuff - oh well.  I got a cheap replacement and stopped worrying - WE WERE GOING TO DISNEY!  The early flight was actually kind of neat because I had a great view of the sun coming up!  The flight was a little over an hour, so we shortly we on the ground at Beauvais airport.  After a quick bite, we heard from our taxi and were off to Disney!  It was actually a bit of a long ride, we all feel asleep, not getting any that night.  When we got to the hotel, we were greeted by Donald Duck, so of course we had to get a pic!  When we got to our room, everyone wanted to take a nap (well, mostly Quinny).  We agreed to an hour rest, but Cailin and I just explored the hotel instead.  I was sure to keep us on schedule, so after waking the others up, we were off to the park!  One of the things I love about Disney is their shuttle system!  They sure take care of you making sure you can easily get everywhere!  We (well I ha ha) decided that we should do the Walt Disney Studios Park the first day because it was smaller and we only had a half a day.  The park is comparable to MGM at Disney World with some of the same rides, like our first, Tower of Terror (one of my favs!).  The ride was great, but a little different - this will be a common theme I noticed around the parks.  After we saw the Stars n Cars parade, and it was awesome to see more of the characters.  Next we thought we’d try Crush’s Coaster, and this was new even for me!  It was AWESOME and totally unexpected!  Maybe my new favorite ride, or one of them!  We got snacks, then explored Toy Story Playland.  We saw Animagique, rode Rock n Roller Coaster (twice!), and finished the day with more Crush’s Coaster.  I was proud to continue the Disney tradition of using rock, paper, scissors to decide who rides with who on the rides.  After the park, we walked over to the Disney Village to get food because we were starving!  I suggested Cafe Mickey for dinner because it sounded fun, and it was!  We were able to see and take pics with characters during our dinner, including Mickey and Minnie!  We did a bit of shopping then went back to the hotel.  We attempted to watch a movie, but that didn’t work, so Annie, Quinny, and I went to the bar (I love Europe), and then hit the sack to get some rest for our second day.

I volunteered to be the first one up bright and early to shower - 6:45 fun stuff haha, but totally worth it for Disney! Breakfast was included with our room so we made it down for our allotted time, and then had a feast of free food!  We even took some to have with us in the park (we’re totally college students).  The hotel also was able to hold our bags for us after we checked out - just another thing I love about Disney!  The second day was COMPLETELY devoted to the Disneyland Park where I’d finally see the castle!  The entrance is actually quite interesting, and you can’t see the castle until after you completely enter the park.  I started tearing up walking in, and a few tears may have fallen at the sight of the castle.  I just could not believe where I was!  I never thought I’d have the chance to go to Disneyland PARIS!  The park was decorated for Christmas with a big tree, and I just love Main Street USA at Christmas!  After pictures galore with the castle and such, we made our way to Discoveryland to check out Space Mountain: Mission 2.  That ride is definitely an upgrade, and nothing like the one in Disney World!  It is and AMAZING ride and totally unexpected again.  Since we all loved it, we decided to get fastpasses to ride it again!  We then rode Its a Small World, got cotton candy, and rode the teacups! After our second try at Space Mountain, we rode Buzz Lightyear (so fun!), and then Indiana Jones (nothing special).  We went on pirates, which isn’t as good as Disney World, and then Peter Pan, which was just as MAGICAL as the one in Florida - one of my favorite rides!  We went to Casey’s Corner for some American hot dogs, and then rode Thunder Mountain, which was a BLAST!  We checked out Phantom Manor, then saw the light parade (defs not the same or as good as Spectromagic). We decided to ride Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain again because those were our favs of the day.  After some shopping, I had my moment and said goodbye to the castle as tradition goes.  It was back to the hotel for our bags.  The desk called us a taxi, and we waited at the bar getting delicious hot chocolate and Bailey’s.  Which reminds me, I will say it was quite odd being at a Disney park and having to wear pants and coat, not shorts and tank tops!  After a bit of a ride we were finally in the actual city of Paris and at our hostel!  When we got to our room we attempted to plan, but only got as far as seeing the Eiffel Tower, which was obvious haha.  We all crashed after another long, but great day.

We woke up pretty early Sunday, our first day in the city, so Flynn could get some sights in before leaving the trip early.  We planned where we would go at breakfast, which was pretty delicious - croissants!  We decided to go see the incorruptibles, but when we found the church, mass was going on, so Flynn just got a quick peek.  Then it was off to find the Eiffel Tower.  I had a minor freak out and went a little crazy at my first sight of it!  It seemed unreal!  We took loads of pics, dodged salesmen, and simply admired it.  We said goodbye to Flynn because she was going home for Thanksgiving.  The four of us walked around a palace a bit, and then made our way over to the famous Arc de Triomphe and Champs-Elysees.  The store were great - I just wish I had money!  We went to a little lunch after poking around, and Quinny’s friend Lucas met us there.  After a bit more shopping we walked to the Louvre and Notre Dame, stopping for pics, crepes, and waffles along the way. YUM!  Notre Dame was breathtaking!  We went in and looked around and everything, but all stopped at something special - the crown of thorns.  I honestly could not believe it, started to tear up, felt so heavy, and just couldn’t move.  Cailin and I just simply looked at each other - could not talk.  What an experience.  From there we decided to go back to the hostel to rest up slash get ready for dinner.  We made plans to go to Lucas’s and then maybe out after.  Lucas lives with in grandma in an AWESOME area and apartment.  SO NICE! Lucas is from Reunion, so he made us a Reunion meal and had us taste Reunion flavored rum.  Annie, Cailin, and I gave up trying to talk much, but it was great and entertainment enough hearing Lucas and Quinny talk, catch up, and swap stories.  Going out turned out not being necessary, and we made our way back to the hostel.

We woke up early again (sometimes vacation isn’t vacation ha ha), and made our way to breakfast to plan our day.  Our first stop for this day was the Sacre Coeur - not too far from our hostel.  It was so neat!  It’s on a hill so the views of Paris were AMAZING!  After some time taking it all in, we poked around some shopping, but put if off til later.  We got a bite to eat for lunch, and I got another great French omelet and had chocolate mousse and champagne (finally!) for dessert.  We decided to go back and see the incorruptibles proper.  They were so amazing and unbelievable and it was insane to be at a place Mary had appeared, and it was only after leaving the church that we found out St. Vincent de Paul’s heart was there.  We chose to go back to Notre Dame to have a chance to go up the tower.  The battle with the stairs is TOTALLY worth it!  Such amazing sights!  And we saw the bell!  We filled up on one last crepe and some hot chocolate and got our shopping done a bit stressfully as we started to get pressed for time.  We rushed back to our hostel for our things and then back on public transportation to catch our bus!  I don’t know if we made our exact bus, but we made one that would still get us to the airport for our flight!  I didn’t want to leave!  After crashing on the bus, I was a bit out of it at the airport, and after a quick ham and cheese like sandwich before I knew it I was on the plane!  After the quick flight, we hopped on a taxi to head home and reminisced along the way.

WHAT A GREAT WEEKEND!  Full of great experiences and great people!  One of the times of my life!  I still can’t believe it happened sometimes, but I am so thankful it did!

As usual picture are all here! http://myirelandadventures.shutterfly.com/

In the weeks right after fall break and before my weekend in Paris, I realized things have become routine.

First, Annie, Cailin, and I text or message each other every morning when we wake up to plan our days.  We’ve sort of become inseparable and dependent on each other, but I’m okay with that! :)

To continue on this note, we meet for tea the morning (or afternoon if we’ve slept in) after an eventful night out.  We recover, fill each other in, and piece together what happened.  I don’t know what I would do without them!

We make dinners together every night.  We either pool our resources and make something from what we all have, or we make a trip to the store.  We have been know to make daily trips almost everyday for our dinners.

Not going to class has become routine.  They really don’t matter.

And obviously, being in Ireland and in college means drinking is routine. But, it’s all good!

Kind of related to routine is how attached I’ve become to various aspects of life here.

Obviously, I’m attached to many of the people I’ve met, mostly Saint Mary’s girls and Quinny (he’s Saint Mary’s now).

One day getting groceries for dinner, I realized that Aldi was my grocery store.  It where I go, and it’s always there.

One morning after waking up, I had the extreme realization that I was in my bedroom.  It is comfortable and my retreat.

Drama.  It seems to follow me everywhere.  But, in Ireland, I just haven’t let it get to me much.  After a day, I realize I really shouldn’t worry about it, or things work out, or both.  There will always be drama when you’re with the same people day after day.  Even with drama with the people I’ve gotten closest with, issues were sorted out, and life went on and things are good.  With others, I haven’t dwelt on it.  I’ve stayed myself, and kill with kindness - something I’ve always been told to do.  

I’m just happy here, and nothing is going to change that.

Except for leaving.

I am going to miss the routine, my attachments, and even the drama.

I love Ireland.